Yes, I know part 1 isn't published yet, but I have a brief addendum to it:
I have way too much to do today, but I'll share this because it is wrestling with me on this holy day:
"Oh! That I might repose on thee! Oh! that Thou wouldest enter my heart, and inebriate it, that I may forget my ills, and embrace Thee, my sole good!" - St Augustine, from the Confessions
Everyone's saying it and it has to be true. If you can forget yourself in Light of who God is, than you can really experience the joy for which you were created.
One more:
"He must become greater; I must become less." - John the Baptist in John 3:30
That's my prayer for today - I'll call it a selfish one. I want to forget me so I can be truly happy.
There is a reason why only one parent gives birth. Without presuming too much - I am not a woman or the Author of the book on Mothers- I would guess that when a person breaks so violently into the world, the woman who introduces him also gains something at that selfsame event. Because I'm a little boy born in the late 70s, I will liken it to superpowers. Or since my sons' world is superheroes AND videogames - WHAT'S UP Y-Chromosome? - let's call it a power-up. There is at least one new item in her soul's possession as a result of each child that she can access at first only in connection with that child but later in other contexts - maybe it's even an enhancement or a refinement of an existing ability she got when she was born.
This book is amazing. I'm not sure why my mom gave it to me but it is great - a radical take on the idea of Christian art, Art as Christian when the artist's beliefs are not, and the parallels between living as a Christian and living as an Artist.
I love her ideas of being obedient to, listening to, and serving the work. Only then, is an artist able to produce things beyond him or herself.
Brilliant! I'll let you know how it ends...
The hardest thing for me in anything is beginning. And of course the easiest is quitting - at least when it comes to doing things that are in that category of "things I don't want to do."
So maybe instead of launching off on some half-cocked plan to reinvent myself by disciplining myself to blog, journal, exercise, eat right, check my sugar and record, read something smart, avoid TV ev-er-y-day for thirty days straight, I'm just going to try to do one thing and set an appointment for myself to come back and say how I did. And maybe then I can decide if I'll do something else.
The What
I know I need tabs on me. I need something to come back to. Milestones to help me keep time and see if I'm chasing the things I want to chase and ignoring the things I want to ignore. I want this venture to help me achieve that.The Challenges
I am scatter-brained. I am an analytic paralytic. I hate doing the same thing twice. I am obsessed with tools - with process over product. I need Moleskines, Twitter, Blogger, Vox, Evernote, Picasa, MarsEdit, GoogleDocs, Backpack just so I can feel utterly overwhelmed with how complicated and flexible my life is. It bothers me and for some reason, I can't simplify. Should I just delete these things? Consolidate?I also have VoodooPad, Facebook and I am about to acquire a free DevonTHINK license.
Is it Worth It?
I honestly don't know... Here's my goal for tomorrow. I am going to think about the end. What is it that I want to look back on... and be proud of?Michael Hyatt posts a great idea, the "Not To-Do" list.
I think the dawning New Year is a a natural time for people to dream of what they will accomplish next year and think about goals in light of what happened in the last 365 days.
But what about those things that you know were leeching your strength or wasting your time? What about those items in your life that you say, "Yeah, I can do that... but should I?"
I'm not talking about paying bills or washing dishes or going to work or those things that may be unpleasant but are still responsibilities. I'm talking about those things that you do and immediately after you finish - or in some cases, spend hours not to finish - only to think to yourself, "Ugh. Was that worth it?"
For me, maybe it's that extra episode of "Burn Notice" on Hulu when I could get sleep and work out in the morning. Or maybe it's reading that tutorial on Ruby code optimization when I have no real intention of learning Ruby in the next 12 months.
I don't know. I'm still thinking about it. I'm seriously pondering the power of saying "No" to some things so that I can be fully prepared to say yes to the things that I want to have the time and energy to really pursue.
Please read this if you want to be challenged, as I was. I am not the culminating achievment that the world has wrought. Examples like this story are why we are here.
While I'm linking to Resurgence,
I found this article really interesting. Why is a Santa that delivers poor children from slavery and defends the true God and His word in an historic council less interesting than a creepy fat guy in a trippy vision that hangs out in malls and slides through chimneys with wrapped commercialism in his bag, like some LSD vision?
Ok, maybe I'm taking it too far. Neat link, though
on To Mother - Part 1